Thursday, August 4, 2011

The deeper you go, the darker it gets

assalamualaikum :)

ini tajuk entry saye. The deeper you go, the darker it gets. Its true, right? It kinda took me aback for a while when I read this. So true. Its just like when you are diving into the ocean. Scary though.

That words left a big marks on my heart. I’ve been through a roller-coaster ride for a while during this pathetic holiday. I learnt my lesson a bit. A twisted fate here and there. But somehow I enjoyed a big part of it. Why the words make such a big impact on me? Let just say. I’ve been there before. The deeper side when the world seems so dark.  Have you ever felt this on someone, when the one you have known for a long time become a stranger to you? I bet you have. When it happened on me, I feel like I’ve been cheated for all these while . The truth is, I am not. I just need a reality checked.

The reality is, I befriend with human, not somekind of angel that falls from nowhere. Human was born to be not perfect. Where there’s always room for improvement. The reality is, its true, the more you get to know somebody, the more they seems like a stranger to you. Am I using the correct grammar for my hypothesis there? Sorry if I am. Its been a while since my last wrote in English.  Its like when you are in love. Why you broke up? Because there were no chemistry. Have u realized that on the first day you met? No right? We just need to be true; you cant expect the first impression on someone to last forever. They may be not what they seem to be. Everybody has a monster that lived in them. We all have our darker side. The side where we don’t want others to know. Im an unknown to myself either. The truth is, im not the same person like I was born 19 years ago. I changed dramatically. Ask my parents, they knew better. So reality checked, who am I to judge others? No one. Sigh.

Another painful reality is, after realizing all the truth I mentioned above. It still hurts. I knew perfectly how it feels. But as time goes on, you will be stronger. That pain does not last forever, but the scar may. You will be okay after a while. Where you cant even remember why you have that pain . im still in that process. Process of letting go all the hurtful past. Process of becoming a better me. Process of knowing what I supposed to be. but for know, let just take a deep breath and be thankful for the chance to live one more day without having those hurtful feelings. We are stronger than we thought we would be. you will never know it until you went through it.

Forgive doesn’t mean forget. That’s a two different things that should never be connected to each other. Forgive for me is letting go. Letting go of the pain and the burden in our heart.

That’s my two cents for today. Selamat bersahur wahai umat islam. And esok saye gaji*keningkening*



SweetyMui2 said...

couldn't agree more. sometimes we need to let go the past.i'm trying to mend,forget whatever bother me all this while and somehow i know i'm getting stronger day by day :')

msmoonlightdim said...

its okay. manusia dilahirkan dengan kekuatan. kite je tak tau. :) be happy with urself. it helps