its depressing. Why? Because people surrounds expect a lot from me. I need to do well in my exams. They think that im so prudent since I managed to get into law school which in fact im not. It sometimes scares me on how well people expect me to be. im afraid to fail even once. My father always asks me this. “manje rase bole lulus tak?” “belajar macam mane?okay?” and how I am supposed to answer these? They are like the hardest questions ever. If I told him that “ I think I will fail” then he will be second from getting heart attack. If I told him “ susah bah, tak faham ape pon” then I’ll be the one who getting a heart attack, from all the nagging and what not.
Final is just a week away. I don’t understand a word when I studied contract, It’s a bit blurry when I studied Consti. Oh my. How am I gonna answer these two papers. Just the thought of answering these two scares me. Kalau orang tanye aku “law susah tak?” aku akan jawab tak rase ragu “susah”. Lagi hebat bile kau jenis species istimewa lembab terlebih macam aku, sah lagi berdouble susah. Mane ade bende senang dalam dunie. Nak berak pon susah. Kau nak tunggu sakit perut dulu, pastu kene teran lagi, pastu kene cebuk lagi, bile kau sembelit lagi la. Hazab. so aku pon dengan rela hati redha. Even susah, ini choice aku. even initially aku tak minat, but this field has became a part of my life. I fought real hard during asasi to make sure that I will get into this course so im not giving up right now. Not when im still at the baby steps. Eh, baru part one kau dah cakap pasal giving up, tak belajar land law dah sibuk risau contract. Argument untuk aku give up macam tak logic kan? Humm sedar sendiri.
And bende paling tak best jadi budak law, kenape kitorang tade baju official untuk law students. Huargh, rase sayu hati bile tengok fac lain sarungkan jacket fac dorang. Nak beza kan kami hanya bile kami berbaju hitam dan putih. Itupon mungkin disalah sangka sebagai budak culinary. Dorang pon hitam putih jugak. Tukar course la camnik.
But still, I love my course. It’s hard to enter this course and yet I managed to get into this.i got to know great people, learnt a lot of great things, i would never exchange this with anything.