I did not expect life at degree will be hard as it is now. Never. The clueless me happily attending each classes without even a bit of worry on what should I expect to come. The BAMMM! As it nearer with the end of semester, assignments come and get me out of hands. Bundle of test that far from what I could handle. Sigh.
Now, I slowly am losing my spirit of everything. I hate going back to hostel. I skipped classes for no reasons. I dont want to do anything. I get homesick if I stayed out from home for too long. Oh my, what will happen to me if I continued to be like this? And today when I saw the asasian student started attending classes after their holiday, it makes my heart wrenched. I felt slightly bitter. I miss those moments when im was them. Happily enjoying the pre-law. Excited to attend classes just to meet the classmates. Seeing those pretty smiles of my clans. How I miss those times.
Im still learning in adapting to this whole new environment. Clearing my thoughts that full of worries. I guess that worrisome part of me still hasn’t changed. I still timidly worried about everything. Can I succeed in my test tomorrow? What is the correct answer for the test just now? Screwed! I think I explain the answer wrongly!? See? Those questions never left my mind even for a second.
Realizing that degree life is so lifeless, I started to suffer from loneliness. Yucks. But seriously I am. My routines haven’t changed drastically since the first time I entered degree. It revolves around the same things. Wake up, classes, hostel, eat, pray then sleep. I stop going to Sunway which I loved so much during pre-law. I rarely eat outside the campus which I never did before. I spent most of my time with sab, my roommates.
Nevertheless to say, I still survived. Yup, I am. But I really need my social life back. Don’t get me wrong there, what I meant to say is that, I need to have a little bit of a good fun. Just a bit would be enough. See, this is the kind of post that you will get each time I feel like im at the downslide of my life. Sorry readers. When I finish gathering my thoughts and clearing out my worries I will update u with something much more valuable to read.