I did not expect life at degree will be hard as it is now.
Never. The clueless me happily attending each classes without even a bit of
worry on what should I expect to come. The BAMMM! As it nearer with the end of
semester, assignments come and get me out of hands. Bundle of test that far
from what I could handle. Sigh.
Now, I slowly am losing my spirit of everything. I hate
going back to hostel. I skipped classes for no reasons. I dont want to do
anything. I get homesick if I stayed out from home for too long. Oh my, what
will happen to me if I continued to be like this? And today when I saw the
asasian student started attending classes after their holiday, it makes my
heart wrenched. I felt slightly bitter. I miss those moments when im was them. Happily
enjoying the pre-law. Excited to attend classes just to meet the classmates. Seeing
those pretty smiles of my clans. How I miss those times.
Im still learning in adapting to this whole new environment.
Clearing my thoughts that full of worries. I guess that worrisome part of me
still hasn’t changed. I still timidly worried about everything. Can I succeed
in my test tomorrow? What is the correct answer for the test just now? Screwed!
I think I explain the answer wrongly!? See? Those questions never left my mind
even for a second.
Realizing that degree life is so lifeless, I started to
suffer from loneliness. Yucks. But seriously I am. My routines haven’t changed
drastically since the first time I entered degree. It revolves around the same
things. Wake up, classes, hostel, eat, pray then sleep. I stop going to Sunway
which I loved so much during pre-law. I rarely eat outside the campus which I never
did before. I spent most of my time with sab, my roommates.
Nevertheless to say, I still survived. Yup, I am. But I really
need my social life back. Don’t get me wrong there, what I meant to say is
that, I need to have a little bit of a good fun. Just a bit would be enough. See,
this is the kind of post that you will get each time I feel like im at the
downslide of my life. Sorry readers. When
I finish gathering my thoughts and clearing out my worries I will update u with
something much more valuable to read.
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