HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A LAW STUDENT?

its depressing. Why? Because people surrounds expect a lot from me. I need to do well in my exams. They think that im so prudent since I managed to get into law school which in fact im not. It sometimes scares me on how well people expect me to be. im afraid to fail even once. My father always asks me this. “manje rase bole lulus tak?” “belajar macam mane?okay?” and how I am supposed to answer these? They are like the hardest questions ever. If I told him that “ I think I will fail” then he will be second from getting heart attack. If I told him “ susah bah, tak faham ape pon” then I’ll be the one who getting a heart attack, from all the nagging and what not.

Final is just a week away. I don’t understand a word when I studied contract, It’s a bit blurry when I studied Consti. Oh my. How am I gonna answer these two papers. Just the thought of answering these two scares me. Kalau orang tanye aku “law susah tak?” aku akan jawab tak rase ragu “susah”. Lagi hebat bile kau jenis species istimewa lembab terlebih macam aku, sah  lagi berdouble susah. Mane ade bende senang dalam dunie. Nak berak pon susah. Kau nak tunggu sakit perut dulu, pastu kene teran lagi, pastu kene cebuk lagi, bile kau sembelit lagi la. Hazab. so aku pon dengan rela hati redha. Even susah, ini choice aku. even initially aku tak minat, but this field has became a part of my life. I fought real hard during asasi to make sure that I will get into this course so im not giving up right now. Not when im still at the baby steps. Eh, baru part one kau dah cakap pasal giving up, tak belajar land law dah sibuk risau contract. Argument untuk aku give up macam tak logic kan? Humm sedar sendiri.

And bende paling tak best jadi budak law, kenape kitorang tade baju official untuk law students. Huargh, rase sayu hati bile tengok fac lain sarungkan jacket fac dorang. Nak beza kan kami hanya bile kami berbaju hitam dan putih. Itupon mungkin disalah sangka sebagai budak culinary. Dorang pon hitam putih jugak. Tukar course la camnik.

But still, I love my course. It’s hard to enter this course and yet I managed to get into this.i got to know great people, learnt a lot of great things, i would never exchange this with anything.

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MY 2011

Dah nak tamat dah pon tahun 2011. Kirenye tahun depan dah masuk angka 20. Aku amek final exam dalam keadaan aku berumur 20 tahun. Mak ai. Dah masuk puluh. Belas dah tinggal belakang. Ni saje nak buat tacing aiii. Rase diri tua dah. And angka tu mungkin memerlukan kematangan yang lebih dari aku.

Rasenye tahun ni paling banyak ups and down dalam hidup aku. kalah tahun amek spm dolu-dolu. And dalam ups and down tu ade banyak bende yang aku rase aku besyukur even dalam die mendownkan aku, ade jugak hikmah disebaliknye. Bawah ni antara 5 bende penting yang terjadi dalam hidup aku.

1.Dapat sambung buat ijazah pengajian undang-undang.

-Ini rasenye achievement terbesar aku. perit gile mase nak tunggu keputusan masuk sini. Dah rase sampai satu tahap aku dah redha dan pasrah kalau tak dapat sambung belajar law. Amek la admin ke, Mascomm ke kahwin ke. Eh over. Haha. Aku sampai dah rase macam tu. Nasib baik rezeki lebih sikit dapat belajar law.

2. Muet dapat band 3.

- aku rase kalau putar balik mase pon ini antara bende yang aku tetap rase macam nak tekan butang delete. Sebab ni la aku dah tak yakin nak sambung law. For those in asasi and want to continue doing degree in law need to achieve band 4 and above. Sadly during that time, I was not one of the lucky students. I only managed to get band 3. Serius sedih mase tu. Dah rase macam bodoh gile dah. Sebab kalau bab pelajaran ni rasenye mase dapat band 3 tu antara saat yang tak bole diterima langsung.

3. Muet dapat band 5.

- Redha Allah dengan mak bapak tu penting. Between that crucial time of the 6 months luckily I got the chance to repeat my Muet. Mase repeat second time ni aku memang dah niat kalau dapat band 3 lagi aku memang dah takkan repeat dah. Mungkin Allah dah tetapkan aku dekat course lain. Tapi Allah ade better plan untuk aku. Mase check result tu aku rase macam tatau nak rase ape. Terkejut kot tengok result. Ye la, aku harap band 4 je, mane nak tau rezeki lebih dapat band 5. Alhamdulillah sangat dah. But actually bile mase degree result ni macam jadi beban untuk aku. because when u achieved something higher than your actual level, people actually expect more from you.

4. Kerja for the first time.

- I worked my ass off. Balik malam. Kadang kadang pukul satu baru sampai rumah. Pukul lapan esok dah kene masuk kerja balik. Penat but the experience was so worth it. I met new people, put myself in a new environment, learnt that this world is infested with so many type of people, some good and some evil. And gladly I survived.

5. cut the ties with my own bestfriend.

- I dunno if whether I should write this down but since its all in the past I think we’ll be good. Yeah I did. And maybe this somewhat is one of those good things that happened in my life. Things were really going well between us but bad things showed up and its like a domino effect. One bad thing after another. Then I guess we both cant really handle the pressure. During that time, I really put all the blame on me alone but then I realized, after all this is not really that bad. I gave myself a room to retaliate. To have my own space. I spent my whole life worrying about others but at that particular moment I realized I should stop doing that. Im thankful for everything. And we both are in good terms right now. Thought not as we were in the past but things end up pretty well for us both.

So these are the things that happened in my life throughout this year. Its been going well and I hope it will continue that way in the future :)

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UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE

this is actually the entry that i've promised to post but postponed it for quite a time already.kekeke. blame the time that past so fast. Before that, Annyeong kids! haha. u will puke to death if this blog is infested with my dark side as kpop addict so i shall stop doing that.

 Its an unplanned trip actually. u know when there's a time that u will like u want to do something and u eventually did without having too much preparations. same goes to us here.

Aku yang dimase kejadian berada kat hostel elok je bile tetibe dapat kol dari abah :

Abah : Assalamualaikum. Manje tengah buat ape? (yup, thats my pet name ==')

Aku : tak buat ape. baru nak bukak buku. (ni memang ayat standard aku. u know why)

Abah : minggu depan isnin cuti tak?

Aku : cuti. asal?

Abah : prepare sume siap siap. nak pergi singapore.

And i was like what the......?! dengan passport sume tak siap lagi abah telefon suruh siap. long story cut short we successfully completed our trip there.and for this kind of post u surely do not want long writing for me right? enjoy the pictures kids :)

sumpah aku rase macam dah berguling guling perut aku lepas naik bende alah ni. macam nak tertanggal isi perut anak tekak sume lah. haha.

our meal on that day. cost us almost rm200. pffft. nasi arab shah alam lagi berbaloi.

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Me as a blogger

I feel like suddenly I was recharged to write a piece again. Eventhough I know that I posted a teaser before. I initially want to post something related to my vacation in Singapore but later decided that the post need to be halted for a while since the wi-fi line here is not that great and I want to upload a mass pictures when we were there. That’s why I post this to you since I’ll be quite busy starting from next week since final is nearing and I want to concentrate on that.

i love the world of blogging. This place is like my sweet escape each time my heart feels stuffy. or when I really need somebody to hear my story. I wrote everything in here. My experience, My love story(tho you hardly find it), everything as long as I find it appropriate to publish on. Im that kind of blogger that treating this blog as a diary. Not assuming that I am hanis zalikha, but to be honest, I really love to ready normal human’s daily life. I feel like im in the process of knowing them. I love meeting new people. Reading their blog is like one way for me of meeting others, virtually.

I improved my English here. I you guys Is one of my avid readers then u will realized that I tend to write in English. Not to brag that my English is that good, it just that I love writing more than I love speaking when it comes to English. My anxiety disorder just wouldn’t let me go when I need to stand up front and speak. So I write in my blog. Eventhough I repeat my MUET twice and you still find whole pile of grammar mistakes here, im okay with that since I improving myself that way. Im cool liddat right.

I don’t earn money using my blog.i still have that conservative mind that still holding on the thought that you don’t earn money by selling off your life’s diary. I advertise nothing here. If im the type of blogger that have thousands of followers maybe I will consider in putting nuffnang or churp churp here. But for the time being, im comfortable being a moneyless blogger that her only source of money is ptptn.

And to be honest, I also like to put my pictures here. As a woman, there are times when I found myself looking pretty in pictures that I snapped and I wanted so badly to put in my blog. I don’t advertise my face. Please don’t say that. I don’t even try in becoming a model or whatnot. It just that, I love to do so. I don’t look pretty in real life. This is a honest thought from me. I escaping myself from reality by putting my edited version of the pictures I took and considered them to be not edited. I don’t have the guts to say that I am pretty when I know im not. Sorry if u feel annoyed by me doing that. You can click the ‘x’ button if you want. That’s your freedom of choice.

I will try to update more often for you guys. Much love, manje@tasya.

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TEASER :)

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INI SEMUA SALAH MEREKA

INI GAMBAR SEBELUM SEMUA BENDE TERJADI. HATI RASE SEBAK BILE TERIMBAS BALIK KENANGAN PAHIT ITU.

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INI GAMBAR YANG PAHIT ITU.

Pak cik kat imigresen ni memang mencabar kesabaran aku sungguh. macam mane bole jadi sampai macam ni sekali? hush. aku rase macam dah cukup elok aku kasi gamba aku kat die. Di up-closed nye gamba tu sampai jadi macam ni sekali. sobs. nanti kalau kastam tahan saya sebab muke tak same siap la. saman pak cik sebab negligent. 

muke tak cukup tido nak dekat seminggu. tu yang bloated habis. tak aku tak gemuk sebenarnye. tolong la percaya. berat aku mantain je sejak habis asasi dulu. lepas asasi dulu die naik dan tak turun- turun dah. betul tak gemuk(ayat sedapkan hati hempedu sendiri) blame the test. blame the photographer. blame the one who zoom the picture too much. blame anyone but do not blame me. kang ade gak aku pergi menuntut ilmu dengan doctor rozmey ni. 

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u and me, NOW!

okay, who wants to date me now? jom pegi rumah masuk meminang terus. kite tunang ,after degree terus jabat tangan tok kadi. dont worry about hantaran, read there, i am very good negotiator.  hahahahahahahaha. *facepalms*

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Hectic with capital H

I did not expect life at degree will be hard as it is now. Never. The clueless me happily attending each classes without even a bit of worry on what should I expect to come. The BAMMM! As it nearer with the end of semester, assignments come and get me out of hands. Bundle of test that far from what I could handle. Sigh.

Now, I slowly am losing my spirit of everything. I hate going back to hostel. I skipped classes for no reasons. I dont want to do anything. I get homesick if I stayed out from home for too long. Oh my, what will happen to me if I continued to be like this? And today when I saw the asasian student started attending classes after their holiday, it makes my heart wrenched. I felt slightly bitter. I miss those moments when im was them. Happily enjoying the pre-law. Excited to attend classes just to meet the classmates. Seeing those pretty smiles of my clans. How I miss those times.

Im still learning in adapting to this whole new environment. Clearing my thoughts that full of worries. I guess that worrisome part of me still hasn’t changed. I still timidly worried about everything. Can I succeed in my test tomorrow? What is the correct answer for the test just now? Screwed! I think I explain the answer wrongly!? See? Those questions never left my mind even for a second.

Realizing that degree life is so lifeless, I started to suffer from loneliness. Yucks. But seriously I am. My routines haven’t changed drastically since the first time I entered degree. It revolves around the same things. Wake up, classes, hostel, eat, pray then sleep. I stop going to Sunway which I loved so much during pre-law. I rarely eat outside the campus which I never did before. I spent most of my time with sab, my roommates.

Nevertheless to say, I still survived. Yup, I am. But I really need my social life back. Don’t get me wrong there, what I meant to say is that, I need to have a little bit of a good fun. Just a bit would be enough. See, this is the kind of post that you will get each time I feel like im at the downslide of my life.  Sorry readers. When I finish gathering my thoughts and clearing out my worries I will update u with something much more valuable to read. 

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UNTITLED

Im dead worried right now. After one whole week of holiday the suddenly the reality hits me. I haven’t study anything yet. i did finished MLS, but surely I cannot remember all the important points that I have revised since its been 3 days after I finished it.

Baru nak sedar diri bile kau dah sedap tidur tak ingat dunie tiap tiap hari. Bile kau dah sedap misuse streamyx kat rumah kau. Bile dah berbundle Korean shows kau download. Baru nak sedar diri. Haila. Aku tetibe rase nak check inbox. Then suddenly I just noticed Aisyah’s message that told me we have a whole bundle of test the next week after holiday which is two days away.

Oh my, how am I going to finish all the acts and section in contract acts? How am I going to understand all the principle in torts and those landmark cases???? And yet, here I am sitting in front of my lappy updating this blog that has been abandoned. Sorry for the lack of updates. I kept myself busy with things I shouldn’t to.

I promise u my readers, I will start updating this blog with useful and readable entry after I clear myself from all the hassle due to the test. Only that way then I can concentrate on creating a much more fun entry . but for now, I need to clean my room first even though a couch potatoes’ room will never look like normal human room.

Regards, natasya 

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TO KIRANA BATRISYA MY LOVE :)

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I MISS THIS :')

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 i miss the six of us.

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reminisce

"I have no time to deal with your ego cause I can't seem to find a valid and logic reason to do so. Why should I respect a person who can't respect other people? Why should I burden myself to do something that won't give me any benefits? Why should I care? I don't want and I will not. 

             Why stay when there's no longer love in your heart? Stop being such a hypocrite. I met those fcukers more than enough. I don't wanna know and meet another one. My 'burn book' has no pages left for your picture. I ain't a bitch who keeps complaining life or God or others didn't treat me right but when this shit happened, you should prepare yourself for the aftermath. I have rights to do whatever fcuk I want. Who are you to stop me? Look at yourself first! 

           What goes around comes around. That's what we called 'karma'. It will get back to you no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Remember, not everyone is bad but don't assume everybody is an angel either. Even an angel can turn to devil, what more a human. 

             You know what? I had enough. I'm not chicken out running away from problems but if I stay, I might do something worst than anyone could ever imagine."

i found this when i was sorting out all the documents in my lappy. I still cannot recalled where i got this from. reading this and looking back at my life now, i should be grateful and satisfied for everything. EVERY SINGLE THINGS :)

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PRE-LOVED AT OBB :)

finally! 


i still in dazed actually. i successfully went to OBB today. Hell yeah. so happy to shop some good stuffs there and met awesome bloggers. I actually got to see Maria Elena, Adriani, Shea Rasol and many more familliar faces there. But then, too scared to ask for a photo with them. im surely will comeback with more money to shop for more good stuffs there.

clutch: the merci store

jeans:chache chache

top: easy look boutiqe

these were some of the good stuffs that u can get at a very good bargain. cheap price, awesome material. What attracted me the most was there are different corners according to different colors. Like this section was for orange-tangerine like colors whilst some are for pink and purple material. trust me, OBB was so beautiful with its vintage decorations.

these were sold starting from Rm5- 50 something and its very eye-catching. sadly, i need to save up some money for daily use. if not, aku makan pasir je la sepanjang duduk kat sini.

*wahai poket, kenape la kau tanak penuh dengan wang*

and guess what?! the most exciting part of the day! i managed to get a picture with shea rasol, homaigod.She's such a beauty!

i seriously cannot say thank enough to my father and my brother whom came all the way from rawang to fetch me up and sent me to this event since i dont know how to get to sek13 using public transport. and my brother who became my photographer of the day. He actually followed me to the store and accompanied me when im doing my shopping. orang laen bawak pakwe aku bawak adik. SERONOK. haha.

abah khusyuk tengok cerita tamil sebab dah bosan sangat dah tunggu aku habis shopping.

 a treat for him, tutti frutti :) kau sayang aku kan dik? haha

muke puas hati hekhek

natasya. go and lost some weight. NOW!

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