Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A human With Her Anger. Rant full of emotions.

cube teka die tengah rase ape? tettt. die tengah stress sebenarnye. hoik hoik

I was not born to cater other people needs and demands.

Never. It hit me quite a few times about this. Maybe those who do not know me personally or not knowing me deep enough tend to make a hasty conclusion that I am such a person. No I'm not, and I will never be one. Why should I?

I'm not that kind of outspoken person in letting out my anger and distress over a person. I'm the quiet one. To be exact, im in those types who conduce to hold back the spiteful feelings rather than deliberately venting it out.

But I found that, I have a large number of enemies that lead me to think that I can now on the same par as hateable artists in Malaysia. Maybe I exaggerated a bit. But that’s what the case and it’s really not that shocking.

Im an amiable person. You can puke afterwards but I really discerned myself to be that way. But maybe people don’t have the same idea as me and they perceived me to be opposite. Some sort of me to be quite irritable to them.  But It is very odd for me to become indisposition towards someone that I just met or knew. What is due to my face? Oh my, tak pernah kot doa muka macam ni. And I don’t think my mother ever doa me to be born with this face. Or is it because of my attitude? Which part of me that you found to be that really discomfort? They way I talk? They way I laugh? Or you are the one that having some sort of attitude problems? Can you please at least have a look of yourself at a mirror once In a while. Just please. Because you cant expect everyone to be that loveable. You yourselves, I think is not that perfect to begin with. Soalan dia sekarang, I have an attitude problem or you have a perception problem?

I know the fact that I cannot expect people to be nice to me, but can't they at least trying to become much nicer and  comprehensible? Since I really cannot stand those people who think that they got this world on their hands and people should opt to follow their way. Yikes! That’s disgusting.

I dissociate myself when it comes to matters like this. Why you should get yourselves involved in anything that may harm you and your heart?  I tried to be reposed and calm, to be more précised, I educate myself to be composed. Its not that I can stand provocation without becoming angry, but if I found such matter to agitate me ,then rather than turning into a monster like I used to, I reformed myself to be such a timid and reserved person. Why? Because I don’t want to cause any troubles. I have my own temper. And those who have known me for quite a long time will know how bad I am to handle my acrimonious attitude.

Just don’t let this thing to fall beyond my limit. It will be no fun anymore. Because, once I feel really repugnance over a person, then my strong sense of antipathy will take place. By that time, in my eyes, you are no longer a human. You can make a conclusion for what kind of creature are you right then before my eyes. I once lost a best friend because of this matter, and I still hold a very strong feeling of bitterness over her. I have a very good memory, if I can still recall my enemy when I was in standard 1, there is a high possibility for me to remember all those spiteful memories when im in my youth also.

And please don’t get into trouble with me. Im human too. Bukan kau je. Ape kau ingat mase Allah cipta aku, dia jadikan hati aku sebelah hidup sebelah mati? Kalau aku bukak mulut kau marah, kalau aku diam pon kau marah. Rase tak diri tu macam ade masalah anger management? So sekarang siapa yang bermasalah? Kau ke aku

cube teka siapa dia? tettt. die perempuan yang baru puberty dan baru tahu nak buat simbul rock sebenarnye.



Anonymous said...

go go tushuguan ! i always support you !
you baik, i sayang you taw. muah.muah

msmoonlightdim said...

Tapayah nak muah muah boleh tak amal?