HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A LAW STUDENT?

its depressing. Why? Because people surrounds expect a lot from me. I need to do well in my exams. They think that im so prudent since I managed to get into law school which in fact im not. It sometimes scares me on how well people expect me to be. im afraid to fail even once. My father always asks me this. “manje rase bole lulus tak?” “belajar macam mane?okay?” and how I am supposed to answer these? They are like the hardest questions ever. If I told him that “ I think I will fail” then he will be second from getting heart attack. If I told him “ susah bah, tak faham ape pon” then I’ll be the one who getting a heart attack, from all the nagging and what not.

Final is just a week away. I don’t understand a word when I studied contract, It’s a bit blurry when I studied Consti. Oh my. How am I gonna answer these two papers. Just the thought of answering these two scares me. Kalau orang tanye aku “law susah tak?” aku akan jawab tak rase ragu “susah”. Lagi hebat bile kau jenis species istimewa lembab terlebih macam aku, sah  lagi berdouble susah. Mane ade bende senang dalam dunie. Nak berak pon susah. Kau nak tunggu sakit perut dulu, pastu kene teran lagi, pastu kene cebuk lagi, bile kau sembelit lagi la. Hazab. so aku pon dengan rela hati redha. Even susah, ini choice aku. even initially aku tak minat, but this field has became a part of my life. I fought real hard during asasi to make sure that I will get into this course so im not giving up right now. Not when im still at the baby steps. Eh, baru part one kau dah cakap pasal giving up, tak belajar land law dah sibuk risau contract. Argument untuk aku give up macam tak logic kan? Humm sedar sendiri.

And bende paling tak best jadi budak law, kenape kitorang tade baju official untuk law students. Huargh, rase sayu hati bile tengok fac lain sarungkan jacket fac dorang. Nak beza kan kami hanya bile kami berbaju hitam dan putih. Itupon mungkin disalah sangka sebagai budak culinary. Dorang pon hitam putih jugak. Tukar course la camnik.

But still, I love my course. It’s hard to enter this course and yet I managed to get into this.i got to know great people, learnt a lot of great things, i would never exchange this with anything.

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MY 2011

Dah nak tamat dah pon tahun 2011. Kirenye tahun depan dah masuk angka 20. Aku amek final exam dalam keadaan aku berumur 20 tahun. Mak ai. Dah masuk puluh. Belas dah tinggal belakang. Ni saje nak buat tacing aiii. Rase diri tua dah. And angka tu mungkin memerlukan kematangan yang lebih dari aku.

Rasenye tahun ni paling banyak ups and down dalam hidup aku. kalah tahun amek spm dolu-dolu. And dalam ups and down tu ade banyak bende yang aku rase aku besyukur even dalam die mendownkan aku, ade jugak hikmah disebaliknye. Bawah ni antara 5 bende penting yang terjadi dalam hidup aku.

1.Dapat sambung buat ijazah pengajian undang-undang.

-Ini rasenye achievement terbesar aku. perit gile mase nak tunggu keputusan masuk sini. Dah rase sampai satu tahap aku dah redha dan pasrah kalau tak dapat sambung belajar law. Amek la admin ke, Mascomm ke kahwin ke. Eh over. Haha. Aku sampai dah rase macam tu. Nasib baik rezeki lebih sikit dapat belajar law.

2. Muet dapat band 3.

- aku rase kalau putar balik mase pon ini antara bende yang aku tetap rase macam nak tekan butang delete. Sebab ni la aku dah tak yakin nak sambung law. For those in asasi and want to continue doing degree in law need to achieve band 4 and above. Sadly during that time, I was not one of the lucky students. I only managed to get band 3. Serius sedih mase tu. Dah rase macam bodoh gile dah. Sebab kalau bab pelajaran ni rasenye mase dapat band 3 tu antara saat yang tak bole diterima langsung.

3. Muet dapat band 5.

- Redha Allah dengan mak bapak tu penting. Between that crucial time of the 6 months luckily I got the chance to repeat my Muet. Mase repeat second time ni aku memang dah niat kalau dapat band 3 lagi aku memang dah takkan repeat dah. Mungkin Allah dah tetapkan aku dekat course lain. Tapi Allah ade better plan untuk aku. Mase check result tu aku rase macam tatau nak rase ape. Terkejut kot tengok result. Ye la, aku harap band 4 je, mane nak tau rezeki lebih dapat band 5. Alhamdulillah sangat dah. But actually bile mase degree result ni macam jadi beban untuk aku. because when u achieved something higher than your actual level, people actually expect more from you.

4. Kerja for the first time.

- I worked my ass off. Balik malam. Kadang kadang pukul satu baru sampai rumah. Pukul lapan esok dah kene masuk kerja balik. Penat but the experience was so worth it. I met new people, put myself in a new environment, learnt that this world is infested with so many type of people, some good and some evil. And gladly I survived.

5. cut the ties with my own bestfriend.

- I dunno if whether I should write this down but since its all in the past I think we’ll be good. Yeah I did. And maybe this somewhat is one of those good things that happened in my life. Things were really going well between us but bad things showed up and its like a domino effect. One bad thing after another. Then I guess we both cant really handle the pressure. During that time, I really put all the blame on me alone but then I realized, after all this is not really that bad. I gave myself a room to retaliate. To have my own space. I spent my whole life worrying about others but at that particular moment I realized I should stop doing that. Im thankful for everything. And we both are in good terms right now. Thought not as we were in the past but things end up pretty well for us both.

So these are the things that happened in my life throughout this year. Its been going well and I hope it will continue that way in the future :)

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UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE

this is actually the entry that i've promised to post but postponed it for quite a time already.kekeke. blame the time that past so fast. Before that, Annyeong kids! haha. u will puke to death if this blog is infested with my dark side as kpop addict so i shall stop doing that.

 Its an unplanned trip actually. u know when there's a time that u will like u want to do something and u eventually did without having too much preparations. same goes to us here.

Aku yang dimase kejadian berada kat hostel elok je bile tetibe dapat kol dari abah :

Abah : Assalamualaikum. Manje tengah buat ape? (yup, thats my pet name ==')

Aku : tak buat ape. baru nak bukak buku. (ni memang ayat standard aku. u know why)

Abah : minggu depan isnin cuti tak?

Aku : cuti. asal?

Abah : prepare sume siap siap. nak pergi singapore.

And i was like what the......?! dengan passport sume tak siap lagi abah telefon suruh siap. long story cut short we successfully completed our trip there.and for this kind of post u surely do not want long writing for me right? enjoy the pictures kids :)

sumpah aku rase macam dah berguling guling perut aku lepas naik bende alah ni. macam nak tertanggal isi perut anak tekak sume lah. haha.

our meal on that day. cost us almost rm200. pffft. nasi arab shah alam lagi berbaloi.

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Me as a blogger

I feel like suddenly I was recharged to write a piece again. Eventhough I know that I posted a teaser before. I initially want to post something related to my vacation in Singapore but later decided that the post need to be halted for a while since the wi-fi line here is not that great and I want to upload a mass pictures when we were there. That’s why I post this to you since I’ll be quite busy starting from next week since final is nearing and I want to concentrate on that.

i love the world of blogging. This place is like my sweet escape each time my heart feels stuffy. or when I really need somebody to hear my story. I wrote everything in here. My experience, My love story(tho you hardly find it), everything as long as I find it appropriate to publish on. Im that kind of blogger that treating this blog as a diary. Not assuming that I am hanis zalikha, but to be honest, I really love to ready normal human’s daily life. I feel like im in the process of knowing them. I love meeting new people. Reading their blog is like one way for me of meeting others, virtually.

I improved my English here. I you guys Is one of my avid readers then u will realized that I tend to write in English. Not to brag that my English is that good, it just that I love writing more than I love speaking when it comes to English. My anxiety disorder just wouldn’t let me go when I need to stand up front and speak. So I write in my blog. Eventhough I repeat my MUET twice and you still find whole pile of grammar mistakes here, im okay with that since I improving myself that way. Im cool liddat right.

I don’t earn money using my blog.i still have that conservative mind that still holding on the thought that you don’t earn money by selling off your life’s diary. I advertise nothing here. If im the type of blogger that have thousands of followers maybe I will consider in putting nuffnang or churp churp here. But for the time being, im comfortable being a moneyless blogger that her only source of money is ptptn.

And to be honest, I also like to put my pictures here. As a woman, there are times when I found myself looking pretty in pictures that I snapped and I wanted so badly to put in my blog. I don’t advertise my face. Please don’t say that. I don’t even try in becoming a model or whatnot. It just that, I love to do so. I don’t look pretty in real life. This is a honest thought from me. I escaping myself from reality by putting my edited version of the pictures I took and considered them to be not edited. I don’t have the guts to say that I am pretty when I know im not. Sorry if u feel annoyed by me doing that. You can click the ‘x’ button if you want. That’s your freedom of choice.

I will try to update more often for you guys. Much love, manje@tasya.

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